Wait a minute... What cat, which cat, my cat?? She has a unnervingly wee little head because she's only six weeks old...she fits in my hand. Poor thing has suffered so much, and you give her a rough time about the size of her head. You're horrible...and Eve is wonderful.
fucking tiny, i'm telling you! imagine the 'he's gonna cry himself to sleep on his huuuuge pillow' slogan, but wrongly. that's this cat. i think it might actually be disadvantaged, or, as they say in BC, Differently Abled.
the thing about that trick is, if you can manage to say it.. you are likely Samely Abled. if you can't, it probably comes out sounding like 'dissaabledd' anyway. and we all know that's a homonym for 'retarded'.
there really is nothing able about this cat whatsoever. therefore this cat must be a retard. a fucking retarded one at that.
no, not your cat lindz. someone else's cat that shits in our hallway and implores food out of us. i was told i would like it. i now believe that was a lie. i don't think steve is fond of it either. i normally adore the animals, but this one is a total punk. we can only say 'she must miss her momma' so many times and give a shit. honestly! normally i go all soft for them, but this one is fucked up.
sorry, it was a particularly leading and ostentatious presentation... it shits in a box in the hallway... it is a cat though, where else should we put the litter box? anywhere else'd be way grosser, trust me. how've you solved this problem?
btw, i am never ever going to drink and commentate ever again. i think i may've actually have gone insane lindz... it's not as fun as its always seemed.
also, can you believe how long our lives actually are? its starting to really freak me out.
Two comments: 1) I'm going to train Charlotte to use the toliet...and no...this is not a joke. 2) Your comments about how long our life is make me realize how we have always been polar opposites...and I love that about us. I was just thinking how unbelievably short our lives are. There are just too many things I want to do...too many people I want to know...too many experiences I want to have...etc etc etc. Never enough time.
Oh...and buddy, you're not insane...just quirky...and coming from a girl who's going to toliet train her cat...I think that probably means something. We'll drink and commentate together in two weeks...that will be fun...just like it always seemed to be.
11 comments:
An unnervingly cute small head
your thoughts never cease to confuse me.
Wait a minute... What cat, which cat, my cat?? She has a unnervingly wee little head because she's only six weeks old...she fits in my hand. Poor thing has suffered so much, and you give her a rough time about the size of her head. You're horrible...and Eve is wonderful.
fucking tiny, i'm telling you! imagine the 'he's gonna cry himself to sleep on his huuuuge pillow' slogan, but wrongly. that's this cat. i think it might actually be disadvantaged, or, as they say in BC, Differently Abled.
the thing about that trick is, if you can manage to say it.. you are likely Samely Abled. if you can't, it probably comes out sounding like 'dissaabledd' anyway. and we all know that's a homonym for 'retarded'.
there really is nothing able about this cat whatsoever. therefore this cat must be a retard. a fucking retarded one at that.
no, not your cat lindz. someone else's cat that shits in our hallway and implores food out of us. i was told i would like it. i now believe that was a lie. i don't think steve is fond of it either. i normally adore the animals, but this one is a total punk. we can only say 'she must miss her momma' so many times and give a shit. honestly! normally i go all soft for them, but this one is fucked up.
it also has an absurdly diminutive cephalous.
all this does somehow make it cute though
I hate irresponsible pet owners...even in our most irresponsible of days we still picked up after Coco! Shits in the hall...that's gross.
sorry, it was a particularly leading and ostentatious presentation... it shits in a box in the hallway... it is a cat though, where else should we put the litter box? anywhere else'd be way grosser, trust me. how've you solved this problem?
btw, i am never ever going to drink and commentate ever again. i think i may've actually have gone insane lindz... it's not as fun as its always seemed.
also, can you believe how long our lives actually are? its starting to really freak me out.
Two comments:
1) I'm going to train Charlotte to use the toliet...and no...this is not a joke.
2) Your comments about how long our life is make me realize how we have always been polar opposites...and I love that about us. I was just thinking how unbelievably short our lives are. There are just too many things I want to do...too many people I want to know...too many experiences I want to have...etc etc etc. Never enough time.
Oh...and buddy, you're not insane...just quirky...and coming from a girl who's going to toliet train her cat...I think that probably means something. We'll drink and commentate together in two weeks...that will be fun...just like it always seemed to be.
Swamp or no swamp, I aint cohabitating with a dirty diseased dying-to-be-deceased dingy dirtbag piss-spraying feline. I'm calling Graham...
meow. hissss. rAAnrrrrr.
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