Monday, August 28, 2006

"the word 'planet' comes from the Greek word for 'wanderer'"

i've been told before that i'm a good listener, but sometimes i wonder if it isn't just that other people talk more than me. everytime i seem to speak, i feel toxic or apparently lose my voice amidst conceit. a girl i don't know just approached me and said to be wary of the energy i pick up, that there's something wide-eyed about me, placed her hand on my forehead and told me that i have a cleansing energy. that i cleaned the places i sat in. i said i was strong, and not to worry for me as i made a hearty attempt to spit out what i couldn't handle. she said it was because i was like stone.
i'm not sure if i know what she meant, but to be affected by a total stranger was very pleasant and much-needed. but i do wish i rolled occasionally.

7 comments:

Eve said...

I was recently told the same thing (not about being like a stone, but to watch out for, what? I don't know.)

So now I'm just paranoid. Join the ranks of those who place more value in the random comments of strangers than they should.

pagno said...

i think you've a striking ability to empathize. that's a form of rolling.

it's as if you've a more immediate connection between thought/feeling and language. so your words, spoken and written, are often saturated with many rich, complex ideas at once.

our slowest conversations are my faves cause i often notice how much of what you say i miss (don't ask me how. i do).

this also happens because i usually talk more than you (is this comment longer than your post?!?).

S'Mat said...

i'd love to wake up everyday to comments like these..
eve, what in the name of sisyphus's toiletry bag IS paranoia? irrational responses to rational problems? it supposedly means 'outside of your mind', but whether that pertains to incoming information or projection of your own to the outside, i'm not sure. fuck. either way, getting your face grabbed by a stranger and being told you're too impressionable is a delicious lick of irony. sorry to hear it happened to you. maybe you're just hypersensitive (which'd be a stupid thing to try and forsake, as it's one of your blessings). perhaps it frightens people?

amy, it is one thing to say it, but another one altogether to know when to say it. thank you. funny how it's harder to accept the good things others see in you than the bad. i've felt quite divorced from both language and thought lately. i am somehow bedeviled. too much other, not enough me? and so i'm clutching at it (that 'me' shit), and making it even more slippery, but when i ask for help or offer mine to others, i feel like a self-aggrandizing jerk and have been told as much. another reason why we have to be selective about who we share our thoughts with... hahahahahahahahaha
ta again ames... crazy how old patterns can re-emerge and feel so desperately fresh.

Eve said...

you rock.

S'Mat said...

har har

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