Sunday, September 24, 2006

n-haughty OR n-ice (aywa or la'a?)

Sabah el khan. Ana esmi Tom. Ana moš fī madrasa. Akteb ketāb.
Good morning. My name [is] Tom. I [am] not in school. I write a book.

- - - something that still deeply perplexes me is the concept of 'nice'. what the fuck IS it? receptive to others' personality? allowing space? accepting differences? resilience to violence? but this can be drawn from pure passivity, a 'default' setting. a scared person could be considered nice. obviously, there's much more dialogue behind communication than just verbal exchange. so passivity is only on a sliding scale... being polite is active (even acting) and 'nice', but could be considered deceptive. i've sometimes been accused of being 'nice', and i don't react well to it. for some reason it makes me angry... perhaps i associate a certain amount of supplication or indetermination with the word, because i don't out-and-out dislike the overall concept of 'nice', i just don't understand it. i also find it very alarming when someone i know and care for is not 'nice'. in fact, it pains me, especially when the not-nice is directed towards me. so i propose to exile 'nice' from my vocabulary to avoid the piranhas lurking beneath its surface and use the word 'kind' instead - - -

only six days left for the joke challenge... so far, jordan's won and he didn't even include a punchline! does this not infuriate anyone? (ps. the jokes do not have to be exclusively lewd... personally lame ones impress me the most... eg. Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick. OR How does it change many dyslexics to take a lighbulb?)
If anyone was curious as to L's and my joke (v0.3)... it's this (adulterated from original to assist those not from New York) Q: What do you call two dweebs fucking? A: A pairadorks.


Eve said...

What's green, wet and puts out forest fires?

Eve said...

Yeah, I know what you mean about 'nice.' I think kindness is more important. And let me tell you what I think that is. Kindness is consideration for the feelings of people, especially the people you care about. It is being empathetic and doing what you can to make things easier and more pleasant for them. I think it's important not to deceive to make someone feel better (i.e., a disingenuous "I love you") Niceness is polite: saying please and thank you and waving at cars that let you into traffic. Kindness is looking out for people you care about.

Lindz said...

Hear, hear! Or is it here, here! I never do know, but I suppose they both make sense in a way.

I also think that kindness is something that is often revealed in the eyes. Sometimes you meet someone and they have kind eyes. It'a a sort of penetrating softness or's sometimes alarmingly disarming.

Eve said...

That eye thing is misleading. They may just consider themself to be kind. Or maybe they are kind on an interpersonal level, but then they work as Gitmo guards or torturers or something.

pagno said...

i heard a joke today. i think i should repeat it here:

Q- what has 60 legs and is hairless?
A- the front row of a backstreet boys concert.

Jordan said...

Yes, I'm very happy that Amy's taken the lead in this exercise of joking off. The punchline for my joke, which according to Eve sucks (before even hearing the punchline!...and especially given her very non-foodette claim that fridges don't play a role in the miracle of life [especially fungal and bacterial life, for which there is an appropriate contrast to made with vaginaea]; because who could claim that at least one bloak hasn't been influenced during the act of life-making by the midnight snack at the other end of the copulation). Anyways, the bottom end of the joke is:

A fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

Eve's ultimately correct though, as what implicitly follows from the creation of a pressure gradient and the subsequent movement of air to equilibrate this gradient is, if obstructed by adjacent fleshy and moist tissue, the natural sound of...sucking (or blowing, depending on your point of, um, view).

Also, you guys should all check out "the clown quartet" if you can find it on that there internet...

S'Mat said...

yes! this is what we're talking about...! everyone joking off onto my jest... (jordan... may i blame the base level of, er, your and my humour, on your submission pertaining to microclimates?)
i just can't wait till eve drops her punchline bomb on you guys!
and amy, that's testiment to the funny-cause-it's-true type humour!
ok, one that i heard yesterday:
Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his brother in the forest?
And, I'll leave you with this one (my all time favourite):
Q: What do you call a dog with no hind-legs and metal balls?

Jordan said...

Ok, I feel compelled to provide, free of charge, what was essentially a vagina versus fridge war I had with Graham. I know this breaks every established rule of privacy, but shit, I'm in America after all. To be fair, I'll reference the supplier of each quip in parentheses (sorry Graham, you sick bastard):

What's the difference between a fridge and a vagina?

A fridge won't ask you to marry it when you put the cream in it. (Graham)

The smaller hole of a fridge is the colder one. (Jordan)

You can make a really funny sounding hand-puppet by sliding your hand
into a vagina, not a fridge. (Graham...this came after viewing the Clown Quartet, which he thought was "retarded"...judge for youself and google "clown quartet")

One of the greatest pleasures in life is raiding your mom's fridge. (Graham...that's completely fucking revolting)

When a fridge grows hair you can throw it out and get a new one. (Jordan...I'm particularly proud of this one)

Its much easier to clean up after cracking your eggs in a vagina than
in a fridge. (Graham)

You can fart while you're poking around in a fridge and not get
punched in the face. (Jordan)

My best bet for Eve's joke is: A heard of rhinoceruses with gangrene...

pagno said...

i'd like to vouch for the funny factor relating to the clown quartet. great way to start your day. thanks Jman.

S'Mat said...

A: Sparky

Saffron said...

I've always kinda considered "nice" to be an insult. I think to me it's kinda over the top sickly sweet gushy shit - these people tend to piss me off - therefore "nice" is an insult :)

Eve said...

Oh yeah, I forgot.

Smokey the pickle. (Ba dum bum.)

Jordan said...

I've been stuck on "Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his brother in the forest?" and the best I've done is:

he had shrub frere for lunch?

He kicked the shit out of him for eating his girlfriend?

but since neither can be considered humorous there must be something better...

S'Mat said...

jorjoursaurus... the joke is already complete, but making it completer is a fun activity for you and your loved ones, or while gnawing on Nicole's femur. i find this type of joke fascinating: the machinary resembles that of the Q/A format, and so the joke-victim will politely await the punchline, but because it's embedded in the delivery (double entendre), the awkward silence in the perceived humour-vacuum kind of becomes the joke for the teller. watching the realization spread across the victim's face is the true guffaw-generator here. har har, right?

Jordumb said...

i feel like i've been rear-ended while sleeping in my car parked in the lot outside walmart.