Thursday, September 21, 2006


quick post. trying to reset clock and catch lighted mornings while they're still around to catch. was so addled i told a lady who was worried that my cup was at the table she sat down at that i was not using the table, and only using the table as a table. i'm not even monolingual. am going to blame Quebec's cultural predilection towards issues pur laine.
saw rollerblading leprecaun today. great guy. sometimes whizzes by on one blade (other outstretched behind him) or does handstands to impress the ladies. he has a new pair of raging headphones. also had an 8am battle of eyelids with skeletor. i don't know if he knew about it. there is an outside chance that he's on to me.
am reading now: the odyssey, the cosmic serpent (slowly), the storytelling coach, viroid life, tom sawyer, and the alexandria quartet (still)... wish one'd stick out, but it's like 'mood' reading. feels a bit diluted. forgot how jive the odyssey was.

tried to release home-made joke (it was collaborative effort with my a&s) into the collective, but preliminary trial-runs induced very tepid results. so, i offer a challenge: post the funniest joke you know/can come up with and i'll run them through a highly judicious and selective screening process with a panel of expert laughers/alcoholix. there's no limit on submissions, and the more base/lewd/tasteless the better. the entrant submitting the tasteleast of the jokes will receive a one-of-a-kind prize in the mail, and i promise it'll be awesomer than a fart in a jar. looking for self-generated ones, but all are welcome. no anecdotes please. deadline: oct 1st 2006. i'm wagering the winner'll be albertan.


S'Mat said...

virgule count: 4

Graham said...

Spearheading your own comment page, eh. Seems like a marketing tool used to generate brand buzz.

I tried out your joke on a few people myself (never once claiming it as my own (except once)). It failed twice but got a respectable chortle on the third trial (the most important trial in the health science world). The problem with it ever reaching any measure of universality is that it must be uttered with a British accent.

BTW Im not sure if either you or eve recognize that the english word virgule is a straight jacking from french. In french virgule means comma.

S'Mat said...

yes. been thinking about 'drawing attention' techniques. now i'm reckoning 3 comments'll get even more people to look... sometimes commenting is just easier than editing to add though.
you got a chortle? that is pretty high on the heartiness scale! thanks for field-testing for us.
eve thinks it sucks, as included within two email's i received from her was:
Your joke isn't funny. Sorry.
I thought about the joke some more. Still not funny. I mean, why do you have
to pick on nerds? ;)
new yorkers and their sophisticated humour. i bet she would've laughed if one of the words was 'dweebs' though.
far out about 'virgule'! "Apres onze ans dans une virgule, Jean-Luc est maintenant un legumier"

Eve said...

I'm not a New Yorker.

Jordan said...

I think Eve's got the best joke so far claiming not to be a New Yorker.

Here's a lewd one that I told G "spot" ram the other night as we were cleaning Carolyn's kitchen (though I've been telling it for years, I was surprised that he hadn't heard it):

What's the difference between a vagina and a fridge?

(I guess I'll just leave it open ended to see if anyone can come up with a better punchline than I've got)

pagno said...

tom, can i be on the team of expert laughers/alcholix?

S'Mat said...

oh Jordan! you and your wife jokes... i don't know if anyone will have the gonads to fill in the punchline. the answers i found were either stupid or stupid... i might be castigated for this...
- while fridges come with a lifetime warranty, vagina's come with a lifetime warring fee? (stupid)
- nobody punches a fridge! (stupid)
- fridges won't divorce you, take your house, all your money and poison your kids against you causing you to live in the gutter (because you traded your Dodge Neon in for gas money), only shaken to sleep by paroxysms of self-loathing and louse-riddled twitching while even pigeons avoid you for the fumes rising from your teeth
i'm not even close jordan. i know it...

amy! sure thing! you are one of the most accomplished laughers i know. if i could attach just one proviso... do you have a joke for us?

Eve said...

a vagina and a fridge? The fridge keeps your food cold? A fridge has no role in the miracle of life?

Your joke sucks too.