Monday, April 24, 2006

life after Soduku/the anguish of a dull pencil nib

I just walked past a small, moderately unattended child trying to unscrew the side-cap of a fire hydrant, and I had to imagine him succeeding. It was a comic thought a good ten seconds before becoming not-comic. I'm glad it didn't happen, but it's still early in the day and he looked commited. I also can't pretend I haven't wanted to do the same.

I've got a few hours to hack about before Air Canada scares me shitless once again, and I find I only think in fragments on travel days.. so here's an addendum to a January post.

You know you're in Quebec when...
  • you keep loose bricks in your living room. bricks are really handy implements, they are also extremely 'guy': looking after bricks is a true man-skill. but having construction material at hand in the living room is pretty Queeb in general. Examples: 1) tables. you can use bricks to make a table, but you can't use tables to make a brick (unless those tables are made of really small bricks). 2) bookmarks 3) art... the list is exhausted only by the imagination and whether or not the brick is within armsreach.
  • there are cigarette burns on the roof of your car. this would be disconcerting if it were truly your car.
  • a chain-gang of 4-year-olds will sometimes amble by led by the most patient/stoned guardian ever. this is gratuitously adorable and never loses its charm.
  • you eventually DO meet a person called Guilhomme in Carre St Louis.
  • someone tells you a dog is about to piss on your bag as the dog is sauntering away. you shrug.
  • the tightest store security is found in the dollar store.
  • ladies all dye their hair run-lola-red on their 60th birthday. they're hip, because they chain-smoke and drink more heavily than the sterotypical stepdad, but they still find time to make being their neighbour hellish.
  • foufounes electrique. um, yeah...
  • once in a while, you see someone riding your bike. it's never the same person twice.
  • after years of pondering, you still can't see how HydroQuebec can justify a rate-hike and yet burn money in mid-winter outdoor festivals.
  • if your name is Tony K, you will change your stage-name to Tony Pepsi for broader cultural appeal.
  • someone breaks down the gate to your backyard to salvage beer bottles.
  • you've pretended not to watch the principle members of Arcade Fire polish off a poutine.
  • you've subletted your apartment to the gram-o-gram dude.
  • you either have a pony-tail, or are growing it back.

ok then.

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