Odds and Sods
- Girls go through toilet paper like albinos go through aloe vera.
- On windy days, I fart alot. Is this a form of repressurization?
- On still days, I fart alot. When a butterfly flaps its wings...
- InFringement's Car Stories is the only 'play' to ever get kicked out of the Fringe Fest. This year, they didn't have a car (not that you'd ever really want to be driven anywhere by a Miami lounge lizard) and picked you up at Biftek. Amy and Steve went on a happening (?) with them. The mise en scene: the space on St. Laurent between Biftek and Miami.
- 'Azim' means 'fantastic' in Arabic.
- Rebecca, my sister's name:
fem. proper name, biblical wife of Isaac, mother of Jacob and Esau, from L.L. Rebecca, from Gk. Rhebekka, from Heb. Ribhqeh, lit. "connection" (cf. ribhqah "team"), from Semitic base r-b-q "to tie, couple, join" (cf. Arabic rabaqa "he tied fast"). Rebekah, form of the name in Authorized Version, was taken as the name of a society of women (founded 1851 in Indiana, U.S.) as a complement to the Odd Fellows.
- Theoretically, in a fight between Bruce Lee and a silverback gorilla, Chuck Norris would win.
- This is the third day in a row that my right thumb (my favourite) has been asleep. After all that Mario Kart 64 in the mid-90s, after countless doobs, all those remote detonators pushed, after giving me a means to converse semi-sensibly with Michelle O'Bradovich's Dad in '95, you are really starting to oppose me now as well. Thumb, I bite my thumb at you.
- Grace and Beauty. You are my hiccough and harlet. Why do you run? We know each other.
- Moonfleet, by J. Meade Falkner. Set in the Fleet and Chesil Beach of Dorset in the 18th century, it is a tale of high adventure. If you ever find yourself 8 years old, read this book.
- A colloquialism I picked up recently: 'work'
- Ever notice how chewing-gum these days (working on the Chiclets model) resembles the exposed surface of an idealized top-front incisor?
- The world's biggest raindrop fell near Hilo, Hawaii. It only measured 8mm or 1/3 inches across.
- This time last year, when I was on Vancouver Island, I was taken crab and prawn fishing by my UK fisherman friend Jay. He told me a story: One time, on the piss in Soho, London, one of Jay's mates bet him he wouldn't climb a streetlamp (they are stubby there, and have crossbars), hang upside down and try to wizz into a bottle. Sure enough, he monkeyed up, hung upside down from his knees and started to pee. He heard an 'ahem' and opened his eyes to focus on an upsidedown policeman with his hands on his hips. His friends had all buggered off. Jay wasn't charged (strange, as London's by-laws probably include such absurd infractions), but I wonder now if there isn't a bobby out there who tells this story to this day. Jay likes to pee. As we were out in Brentwood Bay, he peed over the side of his boat maybe 4 times. Each time saying 'brr, the water's chilly' and chuckling. I peed once, and tried to top him by asking if he'd seen me on the SONAR. Later on we squeamishly chopped live crabs in half on his driveway. It was a good day.