Monday, February 27, 2006

Ever see someone skydive naked? I have, and it's horrible.

Ok, so Thursday night, I ate my words: I squelched home sopping wet up to my thighs. There had been quicksnow everywhere.. I don't have too much to speak about today, though I did go to the Belle and Sebastian show last night, which was fine. Good musicians, and an even better band. I had the disadvantage of not really caring about them before seeing them, so I didn't have my life changed or anything. They had veteran-tight sets, and pretty accessible songs, though the melodies were a bit too complex to generate a spontaneous loveaffair with me. They sing about dreams and horses, so sure enough, the ladies love them (just like Sublime, what's up with that band and girls? Girls take their tops off if they even hear Sublime played in a commercial). They'll go down in my Top 20 shows. As for the rest of this post, today I only have questions..
-Does anyone else aim for the urinal-mint just to get that refreshing smell?
-Ever notice how predisposed to looking at people you are? Even if you didn't know someone was there, the chances of 'casually' looking at some otherwise uninteresting landmark are damned higher if someone is there. Like looking up in a coffee shop and looking directly at someone who'd been looking at you. Eery. I guess the only problem with that observation is that you'll never know how many people you don't see..
-Cogender toilet seat guidelines need to be heavily revised... why do I have to touch a seat I'm not using? Especially BEFORE I touch my winky? Anyone who insists otherwise is braindamaged in the head. The typical counterarguement 'I don't want to fall in' is just a further expression of just how extensive that braindamage is: who doesn't look before they sit down? Especially when half-naked and planning to pass body fluids!? We should at least meet half-way on this one, and accept that the seat'll go up and the seat go down, move it if you need to.. am I wrong? AM I WRONG?
-Which is your favourite dep? There should be annual dep awards, with acceptance speeches and everything. There are some serious deppers out there.. A few along Duluth are more like gunclubs than convenient places to buy baby formula: old dudes hang about sharpening butchering equipment or repackaging Gillette razors. Vote for your favourite dep here!
-Ever notice how the last wisp of a put-out cigarette smoke smells like fish oil?
-Do you ever need to turn the car-radio down to be able to park?
-In the music spectrum, when does reggae become dub? On the remix? Because some of the best dub I've seen has been live.
-I've no idea what a Super Dairy Boy might be, but haven't you always wanted toys like these? Check out the Powerisers!
-Back to DJ names, how's Rambo sound? Or EeryMouthy? Or The Metapickle? I definitely need someone to tell me, or else I'll be DJ Tommy, which sounds a little too gino-house for this lad.

2 comments:

Isabel Brinck said...

Who doesn't look before sittin? Tom, how exactly did you lose your cell in the toilet again?

My parents always turn down the car radio to concentrate. I don't get it.

Sent you a pre-written email. No time. 12 hours today. Life is tough.

Graham said...

Tom! I think that we (an indiscriminate we, whoever can handle it really) should start our own Super Dairy Boy Extreme Pogo Elite Team (SDBEPET). We would be so badass, even more so than that roving gang of powered wheel-chair hooligans. Dancing en masse at Korova will never be the same again. And your feet will stay dry.
My favorite dep has to be the JVT if only because the guys that run the place lent Eve money to buy weed.