Sunday, December 03, 2006

A variety of names spoofing Snakes on a Plane were told to me the other night, and now I can't stop trying to conjour up new ones... The two told me were Shark on a Rollercoaster and Ferrets in a Stationwagon (which, if it were a 'Jeep' instead, I'd have a few stories for you).

So, this is probably a web-wide phenomenon, but how about:

  • Polar Bear in an Elevator
  • Squids in a Lingerie Store
  • Mexicans at Biftek (based on a true story)
  • Fruit Bats at an AA Meeting
  • Eggplant in a Bubble Bath
  • 8 Year-olds at a Carpet Emporium
  • Stingrays in a Fromagerie
  • Couscous on the Metro

Also, I've been worrying over this question for a while: if on a raft with 5 or 6 people, floating aimlessly and without hope of being saved, would you eat the vegetarians first or last?

also, please welcome my oldest known friend James to the blogging world!!

@ @ @

Oops, sorry James, fixed the link (but left the syntax bizarre).

Can't... stop... thinking... of this flogged-to-death issue (these ones are a little scarier):

  • Unicorn in an Accordian
  • Porcupine on a Tricycle
  • Pureed Carrots in a Prom Dress
  • Hypodermic Needle in your Porridge
  • Nicole Richie in your Shower
  • Crayon all over the Fiscal Quarter Budget Review Presentation
  • Tabasco sauce on the Toilet Paper
  • Peanut Butter in a Hair Piece
  • Vengaboys on the Morning Car-Pool Stereo
  • Dripping AC Unit Above Where you are Eating Your Ice Cream

Ok, I lost the plot a bit there, maybe I'll have more once I calm down a bit.. Hope today's great for everyone.


Anonymous said...

I've given this a bit of thought, and I've come to the conclusion that you should eat the vegetarians first. I see it as being 1) humane and 2) efficient. See, as vegetarians, they will be less willing morally to partake in the required cannibalism. Therefore, by eating them first you are not obliging them to sacrifice their moral standards. In the same vein, if they're not going to eat the chosen victim due to their moral scruples, then they will start to lose weight and become increasingly skeletal. So if you hold off on eating them, then there will be less of them to go around. So...humanity, and efficiency. Eat the veggies first.

Mood Indigo said...

I like cous cous on the metro - that could be a band name.

Eve said...

Tobasco on tp. hahahaha

Wait, would the vegetarians eat human? If not, then they go first. If they do, they still go first, I don't want to hear complaints about the texture or taste of friends.

Anonymous said...

I'm with Lindz, eat the veggies first. At some point you'd just get sick of them feeling all upset about things and you'd probably kill them from the whining. The point of them not wanting to eat and wasting to nothing is completely spot on so get 'em while the gettin's good.

Oh and re: the movie title. I think Asians Behind The Wheel is a completely horrifying subject... So scary and completely dangerous.

Anonymous said...

Turkey Vultures in a Yoga class
Health inspectors on a high speed train
Philosophers at an art gallery opening
Lice on a pubic bone

H said...

How about VOMITING ferrets on a first date?
True story.

pagno said...

gotta represent here: EAT THE CARNIVORES FIRST. they're likely to be tastier (more fat), last longer (more body) and probably the most violent threat to the stranded as a whole. and if they're not fat and violent carnivores then they're probably small and passive carnivores. also known as lazy buggers. unlike vegetarians who are compact, neither violent nor passive and are capable of accomplishing anything they set their minds to. given that the scenario states 'no hope of being saved' however, i say no one eats anyone and we all find a way to get so high we die. it'd be a better time.

pagno said...

tits on an ass?

S'Mat said...

but vegetarians are better for one's health! i know what i eat, and i'd rather chomp into some free-range squash-fed animal than some toxic dump like myself. also, the 'no hope of being saved' bit might mean that everyone's given up, but that it might still happen (just don't hold back for it). so maybe there'll be some carn-version from the vegetarian's camp. besides, to have the vegetarians be eaten gives some kind of allegory to it all.

ps. i like your 'no hope' scenario better though.. if my friend suhrid was on the boat, we could smoke him and get wicked high.

Anonymous said...

Suhrid?? How is he??
Please tell him hello and that I was thinking about him...though really only because you mentioned him, but he does enter my thoughts spontaneously from time to time!