Rejected Children's Books manuscripts (because sometimes taking advice from them is like taking advice from your highschool guidance counsellor):
"The Ocelot, the Crone and the Hutch with the Everything-Drawer... You know, the one with the broken headphones, lost Risk pieces and your uncle's old speedos in it..." by Perry Sprayberry
"A is for Assault-Rifle" by Magnus Flexor
"Hector the Myopic Groundhog and his Magical High-Fives" by Llelowyn Glanddisorder
"How to draw... blood" by Porty Dubai
"Helen the Anxious Porcupine and the Too-Tight Spacesuit" by Lynn Onwelfare
"How to be Awesome" by Captain Awesome
"The Adventures of Grumbles the 9-Volt Battery" by Tom Corcoran
"The Continuing Adventures of Grumbles and the Carbon Monoxide-Detector of Doom" by Tom de Plume
"Rigor Mortis and You" by GSL
"Hippo Displacement" by Lavender deMentia
"Why Your Parents Have Broken Blood Vessels on their Faces" by Yo Ma Ma
"Barry Blogger and the Philanderer's Kidneystone" by Sue N. Ilecountersue
"Texas Hold'em and Why You Don't Have Any Toys" by Maxim Magazine
"The Forest Bunny Senate's Amendment to Chapter 7, Subsection F, of the 3rd Charter of the Statute of Glee-Rights" by Someone Who Thinks About Bunnies Way Too Much
"Tumescence" by Correspondence
Ok... I really could go all day. I feel ill though, so I will stop.
6 comments:
Hippo Displacement- I laughed so hard I spurted a mouthful of coffee on the keyboard at work - thanks Tom, now they really know I wasn't toiling away...
Shouldn't it be: How to be Tom, by Captain Tom?
Haha, some good ones in here. :)
Hahaha, you crack me up.
Hi S'mat! Yes - I'm back :) Good to see you on my blog! I've been reading but haven't been the best commentor. Hope all is well!
Hilarious!
A good set...
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