chessticles

Right now, I'm sitting at a chess cafe on the main. It's ok here, I have my headphones on, so I can sniffle as loud as I want without feeling too guilty. It's noon, and pretty quiet for this place. A motley collection of Russians, Konsonant-istanis and deranged people normally use this place as a staging ground for apparently massively entertaining chess matches. They lob poorly phrased invective at each other between moves, go outside in their moonboots to smoke doobs, come back in to steal my cigarettes and then cackle together in large groups that sound held together largely by a common affection for phlegm. Some games get pretty serious. I keep out of the way, as they remind me of the teenage thugs that kick-it outside of arcades and metro stations. Despite the fact that these guys are 55+, and suffering from acute scurvy and the fashion sense of POWs, I really don't want to get stabbed to death with a bishop. So, with all the hoopla over social epidemics such as video games, drugs and obscene music (partay!!!), I want to raise public awareness of the danger of the chess-fiend. He'll kill you for your damp socks or, at the very least, make derisive remarks about your respect for syntax.

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I just bought a fandangled new notebook. The damned fresh page... reminds me of the large plate of ceramic snow you sometimes wake up to: what right do I have to go out there? Exactly. The first chicken-scratch in there was a fucking TO-DO list. I'm, like, lazy and shit, so I'm gonna start calling them GO lists. The word GO has a profound effect on me (though I prefer the less imperative, lower-case variation: go). Isabel and I leave for Vancouver Island tomorrow. This has me really excited. I can't wait to see Louis The Dog. Before then, there's stuff to-do. Like a facemelter at Korova tonight, and the airport-proofing of my luggage. Oh yeah, I've seen a few notorious celebrities lately too... the lead singer of Arcade Fire and one of the dudes from Wolf Parade (both at Korova, the latter used to work there) and, get this, Jessica Pare at Bagel Etc. It's a shame, as I believe when Isabel and I were talking about which celebrity we'd ditch the other for, she said Owen Wilson and I said Tina Fey (and probably Owen Wilson too), but I REALLY meant Jessica Pare.

Check out the ninja below. If one of those -Stanis come over, even for a light, I'm gonna steal his freaking peach!