Tuesday, October 26, 2010


i don't think about my body much in its own right. the sensory harp that is my nervous system usually bypasses itself to privilege my brain, which will then inspect respective reports. i'm sure you can already see why this might be a prosaic recipe for stupid... cerebral distortion rears rampant, and discordance reigns. dancing unmakes this order in me, or beauty, or passion, or meditation... but, back to her, beauty really does it best: in music in facial constellations in literature in architecture in justice in empathy in nature... these make real, and decommission a tyranny that ofttimes feels most desperate. guillotine.


fingers get allocated strange habitual tasks. i use a different finger for each lightswitch (within reason. i never borrow.) and say its dark, or i'm altered or moody, and i miss my jab.. there's a wrongness there, like my body forgot, not me. extreme moods call for the weight of a second finger behind the one of contact (ebullient? try jazz-snapping. pissed? try judo.) there is never as much authority behind the switch which has an auxiliary. obviously, going off is more final than going on, but there's still a confidence pushed into the finger. sometimes one pushes that finger-thought further, into a whipped towel or thrown object. to affect a light.

i believe the above was mostly speaking to the forefinger. do you use odd fingers for specific tasks? i lift my pinky to thank drivers for stopping when i walk. that may've come to be because i was once concerned that a wave could be seen as imperious. actually, it can't really be confused for much other than what must be acknowledgment "thanks for letting me cross, want this in your ear?" the ring finger on my left hand (is that redundant? where do rings go again? evidently i pour custard on marriage. but i wish i trusted it) checks my fly as habitually as i pat my pockets for keys and bankcard. to assure itself, the zipper toggle is run beneath the fingernail. there are regrettably too many reasons why this digital affirmation came to be.
nervously, i will lightly circle the dome of one fingertip on the dome of a thumbtip, even more lightly than 'lightly' might convey, until the feeling of rolling a pea emerges. this simple discovery, made at the age of 7 or so and continued to this day, might have shaped me more than i know. the translocation of sense, producing a phantom object? only ever had this with my fingers. couldn't imagine how it would be with any other area to be honest "i have a tangerine in my armpit"?
the nerve buds at the fingertips are very densely packed. how concomitant with the use of, say, an iPhone is that idea? what evolutionary use would this extreme sensitivity have aside from the obvious interrelation with technology? ever read this article? it's worth it.
and fuck off.


disconnected carvings from said...

ha ha! tom thanks again for the laughs. i love the pinky finger thank you. and that's a super neat article you linked to. i've always described energy in my body, especially in my legs like a buzzing or infusion of energy. it comes and goes without my willing it and most people seem to think i'm making it up. so that was a reassuring read somewhat. i don't use different fingers for different purposes (!no sexual innuendo intended) but i have a terrible habit of ripping and biting the skin off my thumb knuckles til they bleed. realize i've begun with my index fingers too now. lovely, eh?

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