Tuesday, September 30, 2008

It was nice that the hostages in Sudan all got a bouquet of flowers at the end of the ordeal. But I did wonder at the process of their delivery:
"Gutentag, I am making to try ze sending of ze flowers to Sudetenla.. bah, I mean Sudan."
"By all means sir, we assure same day delivery. May I ask who the flowers are for?"
"Hostages."
"Ahh, well then can I suggest a sunny brace of Asteraceae? Nothing says 'Get released soon' quite like meadow daisies."
"Zat is good!"

Sorry, but my thoughts are too itinerant to cohere into a post worth some time. And thus worth yours. I'll try again soon.

Monday, September 22, 2008

...and Chodaboy

Once there was the Unibomber. Then came the Shoebomber. But now we have the Obama. Dropping orgasms on mass congregations of people, getting them to ululate in symphonic joy. The Obama: his campaign commercial should just be a low-slung and gravelly "Oooo yeeeah". It's too bad that he only drops O bombs in the name of good, as he could probably stop McCain's heart with the simplest erotic blast. Though McCain likely only gets hot from Cindy flexing flayed bamboo canes threateningly and yelling Full Metal Jacket quotes at him while making bird spiders scuttle over his hog-tied form. What a creep...

So those that can should prevail against Baracknophobia and elect the Obama!